Would you qualify for this job?
FXCM, an INC 500 company, leads the rapidly expanding field of online currency trading services for retail and institutional traders. The firm operates out of offices in New York, Dallas, San Francisco, London and Hong Kong. With substantial operations around the world, the FXCM Group currently services over 100,000 live accounts via the FXCM Trading Platform from nearly 200 different countries. FXCM has a proven reputation of reliability and success, executing on average 4,000,000 trades per month accounting for $350 billion in notional trading volume. Additional information can be found at: www.fxcm.com .
We currently have an opening in our Marketing Department for a Proofreader. The position will focus on quality assurance for all of the company's marketing material. We offer a competitive salary, exceptional medical benefits, a 401(k) plan, and an exciting, fast-paced working environment.
(Position includes the following):
Workflow Management:
• Edit material for mistakes in grammar, spelling, and sentence-structure
• Submit changes to Compliance and/or the Design department. Ensure that the work is complete as specified (formatting).
• Ensure that the edits submitted have been applied
Quality Assurance/ Proofreading:
• Proofread the entire company's written material as it's developed
• Check the technical functionality of finished work
• Do hyperlinks navigate to the proper location
• Can Web forms be submitted as designed
• Maintain consistency-of-work across all media (e-mail, eb site, print)
Qualifications:
• Must be eligible to work in the USA (No H1 Visa ponsorship).
• Bachelor's Degree in English, Journalism or Liberal Arts
• Excellent grammar, spelling, and solid sentence-structure skills, and an overall strong command of the English language
• Ability to exercise prescriptive-grammar judgment
• xcellent attention to detail
• Ability to communicate and organize ideas effectively
• Proficiency with MS Word a must; experience using MS Excel preferred. Adobe Acrobat experience a plus!!
• The ability to learn quickly the use of applications you may not be familiar with
• Some familiarity with the Chicago Manual of Style a plus
If you spotted what I did, then I'll race to the cushy salary!
PS. Were they trying to be ironic?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
In a Non-Gay Way
Sometimes, when I look for people's blogs on Fuzeit, I end up on Zach Braff's, which leads me to this. Sometimes... is a good time.
Friday, September 19, 2008
"Diablo Cody Responds to Haters"
Writer Diablo Cody, the recent Oscar-winner for "Juno," has posted a message on her MySpace page for all the people out there that hate the fact that she has become successful. If you're one of those people, you may not like what she has to say.
"I may have won 19 awards that you don't feel I earned, but it's neither original nor relevant to slag on Juno. Really. And you're not some bold, singular voice of dissent, You are exactly like everyone else in your zeitgeisty-demo-lifestyle pod. You are even like me. (I, too, loved Arrested Development! Aren't we a pretty pair of cultural mavericks? Hey, let's go b*tch about how Black Kids are overrated!)
I'm sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my *ss for money. I get why you're bitter. I took exactly one film class in college and-- with the curious exception of the Douglas Sirk unit—it bored the sh*t out of me. I also once got busted for loudly crinkling a bag of Jujubes during a classroom screening of Vivre Sa Vie. I don't deserve to be here. We've established that. But I'm here. Five million 12-year-olds think I'm Buck Henry. Accept it.
I'm sorry to all those violent, semi-literate fanboys who hate me for befriending their heroes. I can't help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me. Maybe you would too, if we actually met.
I know my name is fake and that it annoys you. What, do you hate Queen Latifah and Rip Torn, too? Writers and entertainers have been using pseudonyms for years. Chances are, you're spewing bile under an assumed screen name yourself. I'm sorry if you think I'm like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby c*nt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It's engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn't."
more from worstpreviews.com
"I may have won 19 awards that you don't feel I earned, but it's neither original nor relevant to slag on Juno. Really. And you're not some bold, singular voice of dissent, You are exactly like everyone else in your zeitgeisty-demo-lifestyle pod. You are even like me. (I, too, loved Arrested Development! Aren't we a pretty pair of cultural mavericks? Hey, let's go b*tch about how Black Kids are overrated!)
I'm sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my *ss for money. I get why you're bitter. I took exactly one film class in college and-- with the curious exception of the Douglas Sirk unit—it bored the sh*t out of me. I also once got busted for loudly crinkling a bag of Jujubes during a classroom screening of Vivre Sa Vie. I don't deserve to be here. We've established that. But I'm here. Five million 12-year-olds think I'm Buck Henry. Accept it.
I'm sorry to all those violent, semi-literate fanboys who hate me for befriending their heroes. I can't help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me. Maybe you would too, if we actually met.
I know my name is fake and that it annoys you. What, do you hate Queen Latifah and Rip Torn, too? Writers and entertainers have been using pseudonyms for years. Chances are, you're spewing bile under an assumed screen name yourself. I'm sorry if you think I'm like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby c*nt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It's engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn't."
more from worstpreviews.com
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
New Stuff?!
I'm trying out a new layout. Thoughts? Also, if haven't gotten your fill of my Italy posts, reread them, as there will be a surprise waiting for you at the bottom of the page. Bonne chance!
PS. For those of you who aren't Katie or Corinne... we got an apartment!
PS. For those of you who aren't Katie or Corinne... we got an apartment!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Oh no
http://www.worstpreviews.com/headline.php?id=10047&count=0
Jessica Alba Stars in "Invisible"
Jessica Alba will topline a modern-day fable "An Invisible Sign of My Own." Silverwood Films and iDeal Partners Film Fund closed a financing deal for the pic over the weekend at the Toronto Film Festival.Filmmaker Marilyn Agrelo (Mad Hot Ballroom) begins lensing the film, based on Aimee Bender's tome, next month from a screenplay by Pam Falk and Mike Ellis (The Wedding Planner). It is her first feature directorial outing since "Ballroom" (2005)."Invisible" revolves around a young woman who has retreated from the world and is consumed by numbers and math. Things begin to change when she becomes a second-grade math teacher.
We need to stop this.
Jessica Alba Stars in "Invisible"
Jessica Alba will topline a modern-day fable "An Invisible Sign of My Own." Silverwood Films and iDeal Partners Film Fund closed a financing deal for the pic over the weekend at the Toronto Film Festival.Filmmaker Marilyn Agrelo (Mad Hot Ballroom) begins lensing the film, based on Aimee Bender's tome, next month from a screenplay by Pam Falk and Mike Ellis (The Wedding Planner). It is her first feature directorial outing since "Ballroom" (2005)."Invisible" revolves around a young woman who has retreated from the world and is consumed by numbers and math. Things begin to change when she becomes a second-grade math teacher.
We need to stop this.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Italian Lessons
Ah-lee-chay = Adopted name (spelled "Alice")
Gelato = Ice cream you don't regret eating every day
Finocchio = Fennel, can be used as Fag
Cazzo = Dick, used like Fuck
Si, Cara = Yes, "beloved" = A really dreamy thing to have a dreamy Italian boy say to you
When you go to a foreign country to babysit, try to remember more than four songs with which to sing the children to sleep. Also, try to remember more than two verses of these songs. Further, don't let any of those four songs be "Yesterday" as it will cause children to be moody upon waking.
If you are not a person who wears them, don't bring thongs. Just don't. They won't make you feel sexy when they're riding up your butt crack as you're riding in a minivan listening to an Australian recording of "I'm a little teapot". And when you realize that you've brought not just one, but five pairs, you will feel stupid in addition to unsexy.
Furthermore, do not blow your budget on lingerie which you will wear for no one but yourself. I am, under other situations, a huge advocate of buying lingerie for oneself, but it doesn't help with the above situation, or with the realization that the relationship you're in is almost over. However, disregard this rule entirely should "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" come on while in you're in the dressing room and literally "give [you] a sign".
If you only started drinking coffee while on said family vacation, and are still new to the concept of ordering coffee, do not--I repeat--DO NOT think that you will be able to order a cup of joe in a country whose language you do not speak and whose cafe culture you do not understand. You will be standing at the counter--this is where they stand, right? why isn't anybody else here??--sweating not just from the 90 degree heat outside, or the 90 degree caffe latte in your hand, but from anxiety wondering why all the baristas are staring at you and talking--obviously about you--in the condescending and ironic way that only those who speak a language you can't understand know how. You will run outside, after swallowing the huge cup in one gulp, and realize that maybe there's some truth to the idea that a hot cup of coffee is the best way to lower your body temperature. Or maybe it's because you were sweating so much when you were inside, that the stale breeze that greets you when you finally get out is a very, very welcome one.
Dewy-eyed Italian boys do not give a second glance to sweaty, frizzy-haired girls with braces who have four children in tow.
Once you have accepted this fact and have started to settle into the glory of not caring about that fact, men named Enzo (and I do love the name Enzo) will ride up to you on their bicycles and ask you where you are going to eat lunch, and whether they might be permitted to take you out for lunch. You will politely and insistently decline because--did I not mention this?--Enzo will be 70.
If you sleep in the same room as the children for three weeks, you will, eventually, have to let at least one of them try on your underwear and maybe let her wear the pair to bed over her PJs as a compromise for not letting her wear them, over her clothes, to breakfast.
Kids love boobs.
There are two categories of flavors of gelato: fruits and creams, and ne'er the two shall meet. But that won't stop you from making glorious combinations of flavors. I recommend fior di latte which means milk flower and is what happens when vanilla goes to a strange tribal ritual on a tropical beach, has a transcendent experience, and drags its hungover, yet divine ass back to the gelateria. Eat it and be merry.
You will never--no, New York, never--have pizza as good as the pizza in Italy.
More when (if) I remember.
Gelato = Ice cream you don't regret eating every day
Finocchio = Fennel, can be used as Fag
Cazzo = Dick, used like Fuck
Si, Cara = Yes, "beloved" = A really dreamy thing to have a dreamy Italian boy say to you
When you go to a foreign country to babysit, try to remember more than four songs with which to sing the children to sleep. Also, try to remember more than two verses of these songs. Further, don't let any of those four songs be "Yesterday" as it will cause children to be moody upon waking.
If you are not a person who wears them, don't bring thongs. Just don't. They won't make you feel sexy when they're riding up your butt crack as you're riding in a minivan listening to an Australian recording of "I'm a little teapot". And when you realize that you've brought not just one, but five pairs, you will feel stupid in addition to unsexy.
Furthermore, do not blow your budget on lingerie which you will wear for no one but yourself. I am, under other situations, a huge advocate of buying lingerie for oneself, but it doesn't help with the above situation, or with the realization that the relationship you're in is almost over. However, disregard this rule entirely should "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" come on while in you're in the dressing room and literally "give [you] a sign".
If you only started drinking coffee while on said family vacation, and are still new to the concept of ordering coffee, do not--I repeat--DO NOT think that you will be able to order a cup of joe in a country whose language you do not speak and whose cafe culture you do not understand. You will be standing at the counter--this is where they stand, right? why isn't anybody else here??--sweating not just from the 90 degree heat outside, or the 90 degree caffe latte in your hand, but from anxiety wondering why all the baristas are staring at you and talking--obviously about you--in the condescending and ironic way that only those who speak a language you can't understand know how. You will run outside, after swallowing the huge cup in one gulp, and realize that maybe there's some truth to the idea that a hot cup of coffee is the best way to lower your body temperature. Or maybe it's because you were sweating so much when you were inside, that the stale breeze that greets you when you finally get out is a very, very welcome one.
Dewy-eyed Italian boys do not give a second glance to sweaty, frizzy-haired girls with braces who have four children in tow.
Once you have accepted this fact and have started to settle into the glory of not caring about that fact, men named Enzo (and I do love the name Enzo) will ride up to you on their bicycles and ask you where you are going to eat lunch, and whether they might be permitted to take you out for lunch. You will politely and insistently decline because--did I not mention this?--Enzo will be 70.
If you sleep in the same room as the children for three weeks, you will, eventually, have to let at least one of them try on your underwear and maybe let her wear the pair to bed over her PJs as a compromise for not letting her wear them, over her clothes, to breakfast.
Kids love boobs.
There are two categories of flavors of gelato: fruits and creams, and ne'er the two shall meet. But that won't stop you from making glorious combinations of flavors. I recommend fior di latte which means milk flower and is what happens when vanilla goes to a strange tribal ritual on a tropical beach, has a transcendent experience, and drags its hungover, yet divine ass back to the gelateria. Eat it and be merry.
You will never--no, New York, never--have pizza as good as the pizza in Italy.
More when (if) I remember.
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