Tuesday, January 20, 2009

At Last

Dear Barack,

You have just replaced Thomas Jefferson as my favorite president. You have big shoes to fill (and no slaves to sleep with), but I have faith in you.

Eagerly awaiting the next eight years,

Alice




Dear Thomas,

I'm sorry. You had a long and prosperous reign as my top dog, but it's time for you to step aside. Not everyone understood what we had; in fact, I could barely explain myself sometimes. But I'll always think of you whenever I see Japanese cherry trees, replicas of monuments built by the parents of third graders, and illegitimate children.

Adieu,

Alice

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Can't Keep a Good Man Down

The city of London recently held a contest to promote drinking tap water in restaurants. Entrants had to design an "iconic" carafe. The winner's design is simple and lovely--it even has a "waist" to hold back ice cubes. When I checked out the runners up, there was one design that instantly stood out. One design which, though iconic in a sense, doesn't seem to be exactly family-friendly, let alone something you want to drink out of. I present to you "Tap", or as the Brits would say, "Meat and Two Veg":



The designer explains himself thus (the parentheses are mine):

"To be effective a design that communicates a message must be confident (cocksure, even) – it must be, to a degree, an icon.

...

I felt that as well as producing a form that could stand out in the visual noise of the better dressed tables in London’s restaurants (liquid filled phalluses do have that tendency, don't they?), when diners paused for a second (only a second?) to consider the shape of the vessel (of life?), they would enjoy the moment the traditional tap came into their mind’s eye, and they got the design. "

Yeah, I don't think that a traditional tap is the first thing most people are going to think of. Although, it got so far as to be a runner up in a national contest, so I guess some people didn't notice...

Although, I could be wrong. Refer to designer Adam White's page on London on Tap (here) and find the body part (don't worry, it's G-rated) that his design also resembles. Art, meet Life. Life, Art.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Worst E-Mail Ever

After much debating over the proper phrasing, I finally told NYCMale that I didn't want to go out with him again. His response was:

"Alice, thats all fine and good. Lets go out as friends. What are you doing New Years?"

Oh my god. Who the fuck goes out on New Years "as friends"? I spent New Years by myself with a slice of buche de noel and "The Devil Wears Prada". Let me tell you, I had a thousand times more fun than I would have had with him.

I'm not going to respond to his e-mail.

But that's never stopped him before.