I am too full of emotion to do anything. Does that ever happen to you? Though I know I should go to bed, I can't: I'm sort of buzzed right now on feelings. I don't mean emotion and feelings in the sens majuscule or the elongated vowels (feeeeelings, emoootions) sense. Strictly, I have many emotions right now. Sitting at 30th Avenue at 11.33--where I found myself after noticing only too late that the doors were closing on Broadway--hoping that the next inbound train will come as quickly as the one I'd just missed, I found myself not knowing what to feel, and inside just running through a litany of emotions. Wanting to scream because trains take fucking forever, wanting to cry because it's 11.45 and I just want to be home, wanting to hop onto the tracks and just run home, and wanting to laugh and laugh and laugh until I scream and cry and go crazy and run down the tracks because it is just my fucking too-pathetic-to-be-a-lie luck that as I'm walking down the street, I hear the inbound subway coming, and despite taking the steps three at a time and knocking old ladies out of the way, here I am twenty minutes later, still waiting.
So now I'm home. I've been home for 45 minutes, but I still have too much emotion swirling around to rela-- fuck it. I just thought of the title of this post, and that pretty much sums it up. I'm going to bed because it's too fucking cold to be up trying to wax poetic about shitty luck when you're shitty at waxing poetic to begin with.
Lambert OUT.
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6 comments:
Oh, Alice. Let's drink wine tonight.
I can almost guarantee that this is going to happen to me again tonight.
It makes me feel better to know that other people feel this way as of late. Like, everything and nothing at the same time and you can't tell any of it apart.
....and hopefully that makes you feel better.
and bold closing, yorke.
That's exactly what I meant, Lizz. Thank you.
Just start carrying around a flask. That way you can be the raging drunk woman who pushes old ladies out of the way and still misses the train. You should also put an empty jar in your room where you can deposit all sorts of misplaced screams and emotions before bedtime.
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