Today is the perfect example of why I've always wanted and still believe in the necessity of the Land Line.
Last night I lost my phone. Today our internet doesn't work. This morning I called (from Corinne's phone) the woman at whose house I left my phone about trying to come get it. How does she call me to let me know when is a good time for me to stop be? It's too bad there isn't some other number this woman can call to reach me. I suggested she call and leave a message on Corinne's phone and that Corinne could e-mail me when she does so. Two problems with this solution: Corinne can't check her phone at work. Also, I can't check my e-mail since our internet stopped working. How do I fix the internet when I can neither get on the internet to find a solution, or call Time Warner for them to tell me how to fix it?
Also, I was supposed to go to an audition for The Network (an acting thing) today. But I'm not because I'm completely unprepared. How do I tell them that? I can't call them. I can't e-mail them. But I also can't just not show up. So I'm sitting in the "internet bodega" down the block. I just finished reading Shopgirl last night, and decided to take two-thirds of Mirabelle's sage advice about how to tell a convincing lie: 1. It must be partially true, 2. It must make the listener feel sorry for you, 3. It must make them not want to ask question. I decided to include in my excuse (which was decidedly not "my unpreparedness") the pitiable and true fact that I have more or less lost all ways of communication with the world. I toyed with including some of my winning self-deprecating charm by adding "I know it sounds like I'm lying, but this is too pathetic to be a lie."
Then I realized two things: 1. I shouldn't do that, and 2. That is the ultimate of all possible titles of my memoires:
Too Pathetic to Be a Lie: The Alice Yorke Story
Appearing everywhere in hardcover as soon as I get my sorry ass in gear.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
that was a great entry. Sorry for the not so great day.
The internet appears to be working now; did you try the unplug and replug modem and then router thing?
That was the first thing Katie did. Then it started working. It did not cross my mind at all. Oh well. The day was righted by the freaking delicious dinner I made myself and the grade-school-style ice cream sandwich I had for dessert.
I'd totally read that book by the way.
Post a Comment